I made you cookies! But before we get into that…some real talk.
This past week was just a really, really tough week. By the time I got to Saturday, I literally face planted onto the couch because not only was I physically exhausted, but I had worn myself mentally and emotionally, too. I felt like I was in this rut where the things I’ve always enjoyed weren’t interesting me and instead of helping me relax, they were giving me more anxiety and wearing me out. My creativity was being masked by my gigantic fear of failure and imperfection and I felt stuck. And worst of all – I didn’t want to cook.
I told myself I wouldn’t shut down or cancel the plans I had for the day because when I’m feeling anxious and sad, that’s always my go-to. So we went on a hike with Brig’s mom and sister. My sister and I took a trip to the farmers market and the hippie health food store. My best friend came over and we made bruschetta. We watched The Help and cried. Brig was sweet as ever and did whatever crazy and hilarious things it took to make me laugh, per usual, because I married one incredible man. I took a bubble bath and watched Gilmore Girls. All the little good things started to add up and I started to feel recharged. We’re slowly getting back to normal.
I’ve been trying to teach myself that it’s okay to be imperfect, and genuinely feel at peace with that. I’ll be honest, I’m not there yet. But I’m trying. Trying to be okay with not always being okay, and trying to love myself the way that I know I should. Trying to believe that someone else’s successes are not my failures, never have been, never will be. Trying to never give up, even when every part of me wants that more than anything. Trying to hold myself responsible and accountable to the things that I love because they are what give me life. Trying to believe that, just like everyone around me, I deserve goodness, happiness, and love, too.
So as part of my chill-the-freak-out-Saturday, I made these cookies. Should we just call these therapy cookies? I think so. They’re rich, crispy, decadent, peanut buttery, and absolutely divine. Best of all, I smushed a Justin’s Organic Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup into the top of each cookie. These PB cups are perhaps the greatest thing to have ever graced this earth. They’re not as sweet as ordinary Reese’s Cups, and I’m obsessed.
My favorite thing about these cookies is the way the chocolate spreads across the whole thing – LOVE. So much joy.
Makes about 3 dozen very large cookies
1 c creamy peanut butter
1 c unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 c light brown sugar, packed
2 t vanilla
1 t baking soda
1/2 t salt (I add this because the PB I use isn’t very salty – so this ingredient is optional if you feel that your PB has enough salt)
2 1/2 c all-purpose flour
lots and lots of PB cups
Preheat oven to 375.
Using a hand mixer or a stand mixer with a paddle attachment, cream together the peanut butter and butter until smooth. Add in the brown sugar and mix until light and fluffy. Add in the eggs and vanilla and mix until combined.
Add the flour, salt, and baking soda into the bowl and mix until thoroughly incorporated.
Using an ice cream scoop, scoop out dough onto a baking sheet lined with a Silpat or nonstick spray, leaving several inches between each ball of dough. Gently press a peanut butter cup into the top of each dough ball.
Bake for 8 minutes, or until the edges of the cookies are lightly browned. Let cool on the pan for about 5 minutes, and then transfer to a wire rack.
Thanks for listening today. I sure appreciate each and every one of you that cares to drop by & read.